“There's no one more obnoxious and self-righteous than the self-made man. And no one more admirable.”

“Ever notice how Christians quote the Old Testament more then the New Testament? That's so they can say mean things, talk bad about the queers and such. New Testament, that's the Christian book. The stuff in red, that's Jesus talk. That's what they're supposed to live their life by, but, no, they like the God of the Old Testament, the mean, judgmental one, before he was on Zoloft.”

“You're brooding, Leonard, my friend. What's the problem?""I blew it with Fitzgerald.""I don't think you're giving yourself enough credit. It was more like a nuclear disaster.”

“I like ambition. I like someone who gets up in the morning and has a purpose. A real purpose. I have one. I want whoever I love to have one.""I always look forward to breakfast.”

“Hap, even tough I'm a racist castrating bitch that wants you to be better than you are, wants you to do something with your life besides be a knockabout, do you think you could find it in your heart, in your itty-bitty white man's dick, to get a hard-on for me? In other words, want to fuck?”

“I thought I had the world by the tail. It took me a few years to realize the closest I was to having the world by the tail was being a dingle berry on one of its ass hairs.”

“It was the kind of talk that made me want to break off a limb and take to whacking her and that bunch of hypocrites across the back of the head.”