“I got my dad a great father's Day present. He called to say: 'Ach. Zis present is so good I now think it vas almost vorth having children.”

“I am now convinced that children should not be subjected to the frightfulness of the Christian religion [...]. If the concept of a father who plots to have his own son put to death is presented to children as beautiful and as worthy of society's admiration, what types of human behavior can be presented to them as reprehensible?”

“The Christmas after Mom & Dad split up, they both went crazy buying us presents. Matt, Jonny, and I were showered with gifts at home and at Dads apartment. I thought that was great. I was all in favor of my love being paid for with presents. This year all I got was a diary and a secondhand watch. Okay, I know this is corny, but this really is what Christmas is all about.”

“My father never went to college so it was really important I go to college. After college, I called him long distance and said, now what?My dad didn't know.When I got a job and turned twenty-five, long distance, I said, now what? My dad didn't know, so he said, get married.I'm a thirty-year-old boy, and I'm wondering if another woman is really the answer I need.”

“You were the best birthday present I ever got.""Thank you.""I wanted to give you something back, but I've got to warn you that it's not half as good as my present. Even so, you have to keep it.""All right."He draped the pink bow around his neck and grinned. "Happy birthday, Rosebud.”

“The future belongs to God, and it is only he who reveals it, under extraordinary circumstances. How do I guess at the future? Based on the omens of the present. The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present, you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better. Forget about the future, and live ach day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children. Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”