“This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.”

“If you think you can just scare the crap out of me and walk home like nothing happened you are very wrong, mister." Cassie's voice, although steady, was now seething with anger. "What the hell happened out there, Trevor!?"Trevor checked his surroundings, crawled closer to the gate, and popped his head around the corner of the wall to check the house. Again, loud growls echoed in his ears and the gate shook under weight of a body butting up against it. The dogs were right in his face doing what they were trained to do—guard the property."Dogs, Cassie...big dogs happened.”

“With a snort, Trevor responded, “A amadáin? It means you fool, but it’s really a polite Irish way of calling someone an asshole. Since there are no assholes in Ireland, we don’t really have a word for them, so that’s what we say.”His expression was so serious, Cassandra couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “I’ll have to remember that one. I know a few back home.”“A few assholes or Irishmen?”

“Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.Come let us fart in the home.There is no art in a fart.Still a fart may not be artless.Let us fart and artless fart in the home.”

“Why was he smiling? Oh crap, I had drooled on him. Or maybe farted? Please, anything but a fart!”

“I do not possess the ability to draw or paint.I can’t sing or dance.I can’t knit or sew. But I am an artist. I have the ability to put onto paper, words that tell an intriguing story. I am a writer. A writer is someone who, with just words, can paint a beautiful picture. A writer can open up a world of imagination you didn’t realize was possible. When you open up a book and become so consumed in the story, you feel like you’re a part of it… you’re standing next to that character and feeling the same way that character feels, That’s the art of a writer. I am an artist. My inspiration is the world around me.My paintbrush is my words.My easel is my computer.My canvas is the mind of my reader.”

“A light comes on in his eyes. “Sure, why not? A date with Queen Elizabeth.” He smiles.”