“This Earle of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares. On his returne the Queen welcomed him home, and sayd, My Lord, I had forgott the Fart.”

“Home is where the heart is, home is where the fart is.Come let us fart in the home.There is no art in a fart.Still a fart may not be artless.Let us fart and artless fart in the home.”

“Why was he smiling? Oh crap, I had drooled on him. Or maybe farted? Please, anything but a fart!”

“A light comes on in his eyes. “Sure, why not? A date with Queen Elizabeth.” He smiles.”

“The Queen, in love with love, returned her royal consent. [allowing newlyweds to honeymoon in private instead of appearing at Court to Queen Elizabeth I]”

“Like the princess, Philip didn't believe in public displays of affection, which made it easy to mask his feelings. But he revealed them privately in a touching letter to Queen Elizabeth in which he wondered if he deserved "all the good things which have happened to me," especially "to have fallen in love completely and unreservedly.”