“300 million people turned into jelly by The Wave and Rupert Murdoch wasn't one of them. There is no god.”

“The love of money is the root of all evil, therefore selfishness must be the seed.”

“Adult librarians are like lazy bakers: their patrons want a jelly doughnut, so they give them a jelly doughnut. Children’s librarians are ambitious bakers: 'You like the jelly doughnut? I’ll get you a jelly doughnut. But you should try my cruller, too. My cruller is gonna blow your mind, kid.”

“‎"Sarge, mr. Nurd here is threatening to turn me to jelly.""really?" said Sarge. "what flavor?”

“Remember, this thing is small. It's not like the wolfships. It'll ride over the waves, not crash through them. So we're safe as houses."He wasn't sure about the last two statements, but they seemed logical to him.”

“Always turn to God in the midst of your struggle and view people who offended you as an instruments of divine sovereignty.”

“If you want to do the work of God, pay attention to people. Notice them. Especially the people nobody else notices.”