“I was falling for Elyssa and my track record with girls looked like a zombie apocalypse.”

“No wonder Edward was such a crazy driver," I muttered. "Who's Edward?" Elyssa asked. "You know, from Twilight.”

“I probably looked like an infuriated chipmunk.”

“Even though the place looked like Kansas, I didn´t need to tell Toto that my Facebook Places status wasnñt anywhere on the planet Earth, much less Kansas.”

“I looked at her like I'd just seen a miniature Elvis break-dancing on her head.”

“Wait, so you do love me?" I asked, hope welling in my heart.She growled and pounded her fist into a locker, leaving a fist-shaped dent. "Stop it, Justin. Stop it!"I grabbed her shoulders. "Look at me and tell me you don't love me," I said. "Do it and I'll never bother you again.""I don't love you," she mumbled."Look at me when you say it!"She turned to me, her eyes hard but dull and faded. "I don't love you."I let her go. My heart turned to lead, the heavy lump sagging in my chest. "Well, if there are agents out there looking to kill me, I guess it would be a mercy."I turned to leave. Her hand gripped my shoulder."Please listen to me, Justin."I pushed her hand away but didn't turn to face her. I couldn't let her see the tears welling in my eyes. "Why? What does it matter?""It just does. I—I don't want to see you hurt."I took a deep shuddering breath. "You're not doing a very good job of it." I walked away and left her standing there.”

“Hell, yeah, Ryland. Man up and carpe girl.”