“Life had jerked the carpet out from underneath us and left a shattered mess”

“That's all life is kiddo. When you've had enough contributions to your delinquency, then you're officially an adult.”

“Everything occurred in phases. The "Holy Crap, We're Dead!" phase was marked by mass hysteria. Mass euphoria resulted from the "Holy Crap, We're Free of Life's Burdens!" phase. Now things had shifted into the "Holy Crap, We Can Do Whatever We Want!" phase in which mass indulgence made the ancient Romans look like teetotalers.”

“I tried to beat the crap out of someone's fist with my face”

“Better check your pants, Kyle. I think you had a nerdgasm.”

“I´d use Google to find out, but seem to have misplaced my house along with my laptop”

“My eyelids felt like had tiny but chubby sleep faeries hanging on the lashes and pulling them closed”