“My eyelids felt like had tiny but chubby sleep faeries hanging on the lashes and pulling them closed”

“I might be short, chubby, and require a B-cup manzier, but I was still a man.”

“Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon”

“I felt a smile on my face. "Thanks." "For what?" "Using my name instead of calling me a thing.”

“I wanted to find a nice quiet spot, go to sleep, and dream about kittens.”

“This is not good," I said. "These guys have a superiority complex bigger than Miss Compton's butt.""And she had the biggest butt of them all," Kyle said.”

“I was falling for Elyssa and my track record with girls looked like a zombie apocalypse.”