“Ready for your first lesson, cupcake?”

“You let your mind rule your reality instead of you ruling your mind." "Are you reading this stuff out of a Dr. Phil book?”

“Better check your pants, Kyle. I think you had a nerdgasm.”

“That's all life is kiddo. When you've had enough contributions to your delinquency, then you're officially an adult.”

“My eyelids felt like had tiny but chubby sleep faeries hanging on the lashes and pulling them closed”

“Nothing could make me pull away meat-market love goddess. My sexy little filet mignon”

“Tight dump on three" he said... "I have to drop a deuce on the count of three?”