“Dude you gota get over here Greg sounded more than a little freaked out but since Greg freaks out when he burns a Pop-Tart it didn't give me much to go on.”

“GREG ANNOUNCES HIS RESEARCH AS TO WHAT IS GOING ON: 'Alright I have a theory " he announced rejoining us and taking a healthy slug of scotch himself. "And if I'm right we're going to need more booze. And more ammo. And maybe an extra priest.”

“This isn't Dungeon & Dragons, dude. Just because I'm wearing black doesn't mean I have the Find & Remive Traps skill.”

“HARD DAY'S KNIGHT' For a skinny little gamer-geek he'd done a good job tying me up. I guess that's another thing we can thank the Internet for -- unlimited access to fetish porn has imporved the knot-tying ability of men who can't get dates.”

“He still wasn't looking at me, which meant I was still in trouble. I swear, sometimes this partnership is like being married. We fight all the time and neither one of us is getting married.”

“Because we don't really sparkle.”

“It was a new experience, the “I” watching “my” mind freaking out!”