“This isn't Dungeon & Dragons, dude. Just because I'm wearing black doesn't mean I have the Find & Remive Traps skill.”

“Dude you gota get over here Greg sounded more than a little freaked out but since Greg freaks out when he burns a Pop-Tart it didn't give me much to go on.”

“GREG ANNOUNCES HIS RESEARCH AS TO WHAT IS GOING ON: 'Alright I have a theory " he announced rejoining us and taking a healthy slug of scotch himself. "And if I'm right we're going to need more booze. And more ammo. And maybe an extra priest.”

“Because we don't really sparkle.”

“He still wasn't looking at me, which meant I was still in trouble. I swear, sometimes this partnership is like being married. We fight all the time and neither one of us is getting married.”

“HARD DAY'S KNIGHT' For a skinny little gamer-geek he'd done a good job tying me up. I guess that's another thing we can thank the Internet for -- unlimited access to fetish porn has imporved the knot-tying ability of men who can't get dates.”

“...just because I don't have on a silly black costume and carry a silly broom and wear a silly black hat, doesn't mean that I'm not a witch. I'm a witch all the time and not just on Halloween.”