“1. A green-glass beanstalk 2. An abstract representation of a tree 3. A greener, glassier, uglier Washington Monument 4. The Jolly Green Giant's gigantic jolly green phallus.”

“With every choice, something is gained and something is lost.'' - John Green”

“The Colonel explained to me that 1. this was Alaska's room, and that 2. she had a single room because the girl who was supposed to be her roommate got kicked out at the end of last year, and that 3. Alaska had cigarettes, although the Colonel neglected to ask whether 4. I smoked, which 5. I didn't.”

“All representations of a thing are inherently abstract.”

“Qualities of a Good Nurse: Go," I said. "1.Doesn't put on your disabilities," Isaac said. "2.Gets blood on the first try." I said. "Seriosly, that is huge. I mean is this my freaking arm or a dartboard? 3.No condenscending voice.”

“But it is a pipe.""No, it's not," I said. It's a drawing of a pipe. Get it? All representations of a thing are inherently abstract. It's very clever.”

“On the morning in question, she wore white shorts and a pink T-shirt that featured a green dragon breathing a fire of orange glitter. It is difficult to explain how awesome I found this T-shirt at the time.”