“And he couldn't know because he hadn't been left with an unkeepable promise, because he wasn't me.”

“I had no doubt that Tiny thought he got depressed, but that was probably because he had nothing to compare it to. Still, what could I say? that I didn't just feel depressed - instead, it was like the depression was the core of me, of every part of me, from my mind to my bones? That if he got blue, I got black? That I hated those pills so much because I knew how much I relied on them to live? No, I couldn't say any of this because when it all comes down to it, nobody wants to hear it. No matter how much they like you or love you, they don't want to hear it.”

“He missed that, too, and it hadn't even happened.”

“I am crying, he thought, opening his eyes to stare through the soapy, stinging water. I feel like crying, so I must be crying, but it's impossible to tell because I'm underwater. But he wasn't crying. Curiously, he felt too depressed to cry. Too hurt. It felt as if she'd taken the part of him that cried.”

“Why do I want to take care of Mr. President, particularly whenhe’s desperate like this? Sure, he has been useful—he has saved mefrom many a newzie—but there aren’t many newzies left. And it’s notlike Mr. President has infected me with a virus that predisposes me towant to care for him.I think it’s because Mr. President is a symbol, and symbolsmatter. Caroline liked to say that I was a sentimentalist. But sentimentis really just an appreciation for the reality and signi"cance ofsymbols—which is why I’m still here, and she’s not.”

“You and me will read a book and find three interesting things that we remember. But Colin finds everything intriguing. He reads a book about presidents and he remembers more of it because everything he reads clicks in his head as fugging interesting.”

“Well, yeah,” he said. “But before that, my grand romantic gesture would have totally gotten me laid.”I laughed pretty hard, hard enough that I felt where the chest tube had been.“You laugh because it’s true,” he said.I laughed again.“It’s true, isn’t it!”