“and we're just chatting and then I'm in the middle of a sentence about analogies or something and like a hawk he reaches down and he honks my boob. HONK. A much-too-firm, two- to three-second HONK. And the first thing I thought was Okay, how do I extricate this claw from my boob before it leaves permanent marks? and the second thing I thought was God, I can't wait to tell Takumi and the Colonel.”

“Where is my chance to be somebody's Peter Van Houten?' He hit the steering wheel weakly, the car honking as he cried. He leaned his head back, looking up. 'I hate myself I hate myself I hate this I hate this I disgust myself I hate it I hate it I hate it just let me fucking die.”

“I don't know whether it was the general anxiety of being on a date (albeit one with my would-be date sitting fivepeople away from me) or the specific anxiety of having the Beast stare in my direction, but for some reason, I tookoff running after Takumi. I thought we were in the clear as we began to round the corner of the bleachers, butthen I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a cylindrical orange object getting bigger and bigger, like a fastapproachingsun.I thought: / think that is going to hit me.I thought: J should duck.But in the time between when something gets thought and when it gets done, the ball hit me square across theside of the face. I fell, the back of my head slamming against the gym floor. I then stood up immediately, as ifunhurt, and left the gym.Pride had gotten me off the floor of the gym, but as soon as I was outside, I sat down."I am concussed," I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis."You're fine," Takumi said as he jogged back toward me. "Let's get out of here before we're killed.""I'm sorry," I said. "But I can't get up. I have suffered a mild concussion."Lara ran out and sat down next to me."Are you okay?""I am concussed," I said.Takumi sat down with me and looked me in the eye. "Do you know what happened to you?""The Beast got me.""Do you know where you are?""I'm on a triple-and-a-half date.""You're fine," Takumi said. "Let's go."And then I leaned forward and threw up onto Lara's pants.”

“and then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her.""Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried."I didn't fuck her.""Calm down, guys," the Colonel said, throwing up his hands. "It's a euphemism.""For what?" Takumi asked."Kissing.”

“I think she and I were talking about how much I adored skateboarding on the computer but how it would never even occur to me to try and step on a skateboard in real life, and then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her." "Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried. "I didn't fuck her.”

“I thought: We are not close enough. I though: He will not hear it. I thought: He will hear it and be out so fast that we will have no chance. I thought: Twenty seconds. I was breathing hard and fast.”

“His hand reached for her boob over her shirt and pawed at it, his palm still while his fingers moved around. I wondered if that felt good. Didn't seem like it would, but I decided to forgive Isaac on the grounds that he was going blind. The senses must feast while there is yet hunger and whatever."I think he's hurting her boob," I said."Yes, it's difficult to ascertain whether he is trying to arouse her or perform a breast exam.”