“At some point, I realized I was Kaitlyning the encounter, so I decided to text Kaitlyn and ask for some advice.”

“The things I would do to that boy. I mean, not now that I know you're interested in him. But, oh, sweet holy Lord, I would ride that one-legged pony all the way around the corral.""Kaitlyn," I said."Sorry. Do you think you'd have to be on top?""Kaitlyn," I said.”

“Kaitlyn never wore open-toed shoes on account of how she hated her feet because she felt her second toes were too long, as if the second toe was a window into the soul or something.”

“At some point we all look up and realize we are lost in a maze.”

“So afterward, while I was getting eviscerated by chemo, for some reason I decided to feel really hopeful. Not about survival but I felt like Anna does in the book, that feeling of excitement and gratitude about just being able to marvel at it all.”

“I'm a grenade and at some point I'm going to blow up and I would like to minimize the casualties, okay?”

“Augustus half smiled. "Because you're beautiful, I enjoy looking at beaufitul people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence. . . . I mean, particularly given that, as you so deliciously pointed out, all of this will end in oblivion and everything.”