“Ben's tongue is like sunscreen...It's good for your health and should be applied liberally.”

“The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly.”

“As far as I can tell, there are two basic (kissing) rules: 1. Don't bite anything without permission. 2. The human tongue is like wasabi: it's very powerful, and should be used sparingly.”

“Ben Starling, you better not have bought your token black friend a racist shirt”

“At least for tonight. In sickness and in health. In good times and in bad. For richer, for poorer. 'Till dawn do us part.”

“It's gas! It's gonna blow!" Ben shouts. He throws open the passenger door and takes off, running in a panic. He hurdles a split-rail fence and tears across a hay field. I get out as well, but not in quite the same hurry. Radar is outside, too, and as Ben hauls ass, Radar is laughing. "It's the beer," he says.”

“Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You´re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro.”