“Catfish always drink alcoholic ether if begged, for every catfish enjoys heightened intoxication; gross indulgence can be calamitous, however; duly, garfish babysit for dirty catfish children, helping catfish babies get instructional education just because garfish get delight assisting infants’ growth and famously inspire confidence in immature catfish, giving experience (and joy even); however, blowfish jeer insightful garfish, disparaging inappropriately, doing damage, even insulting benevolent, charming, jovial garfish, hurting and frustrating deeply; joy fades but hurt feelings bring just grief; inevitable irritation hastens feeling blue; however, jovial children declare happiness, blowfishes’ evil causes dejection, blues; accordingly, always glorift jolly, friendly garfish!”

“3 whole Catfish, Wrapped separatelyVeet (It’s for Shaving your legs Only you don’t Need A razor. It’s with all the Girlycosmetic stuff)Vaselinesix pack, Mountain DewOne dozen Tulipsone Bottle Of waterTissuesOne Can of blue Spray paint”

“The fish meowed at me. It must be a catfish.”

“She'd also called me brave...unless she was talking to the catfish.”

“Sometimes you lie, Forest. Sometimes its the right thing to do.""I don't believe that, Ben.""And why is that?""Because it always catches up with you.""It doesn't, not always.""It does.""Bullshit.""It's the truth, Ben.""No, Forest, it's another kind of lie. If Lizzie draws you a picture of a catfish and it looks like a big hairy turd, what do you tell her? That it looks like shit? That you could draw a better fucking catfish with a crayon up your asshole? No, Forest, you tell her it's the most beautiful catfish you ever saw, don't you? Of course you do. Truth's a slippery slope sometimes.”

“I am not eccentric. It's just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of catfish.”

“Fish and Wildlife wants to fine us for killing a giant mutant Tennessee River catfish because it was endangered. Sure it had just crawled up on land and eaten some teenagers, but it was still an endangered species.”