“Colin did not laugh. Instead he thought, Tampons have strings? Why? Of all the major human mysteries - God, the nature of the universe, etc. - he knew the least about tampons. To Colin, tampons were a little bit like grizzly bears: he was aware of their existence, but he'd never seen on in the wild, and didn't really care to.”

“Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable!”

“..."I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh-”

“Hoping to soothe her, Joe said, "Whatever it is I'll get it. Just tell me." "Tampons." Joe stalled. Tampons. But she was only... well, fourteen. He had no idea when young ladies needed such things. He said, "Uh...' "I know," she all but wailed. "I'm sorry. But there aren't any here, and you're already there." "Yeah, of course." He glanced at Austin. "No problem at all, hon." He swallowed. "Any particular kind?" ... Hell, he could kick ass on felons, play bodyguard and bounty hunter, so surely he could buy a stupid box of tampons.”

“Can we agree to a decent working rapport, here? Because I really don't have time for this, and I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh—”

“Gray, I could cover your face in shit and make you wear tampons for earrings and you still would be the hottest girl in the bar. Besides me, of course.""So why am I getting all dressed up? Where's the shit and tampons?”