“Hating the cool kids takes an awful lot of energy, and I'd given up on it a long time ago.”

“I take quite a lot of pride in not knowing what's cool.”

“Is it still cool to go to the mall?' she asked. 'I take quite a lot of pride in not knowing what's cool,' I answered.”

“If I had a nervous breakdown every time something awful happened in the world, I'd be crazier than a shithouse rat.”

“Principled hate is a hell of a lot stronger than "Boy, I wish you hadn't mummified me and thrown me into the lake" hate.”

“The phrase booze and mischief left me worrying I'd stumbled into what my mother referred to as "the wrong crowd," but for the wrong crowd, they both seemed awfully smart.”

“Remember that time in the minivan, twenty minutes ago, when we didn't die?”