“I don't know whether it was the general anxiety of being on a date (albeit one with my would-be date sitting fivepeople away from me) or the specific anxiety of having the Beast stare in my direction, but for some reason, I tookoff running after Takumi. I thought we were in the clear as we began to round the corner of the bleachers, butthen I saw, out of the corner of my eye, a cylindrical orange object getting bigger and bigger, like a fastapproachingsun.I thought: / think that is going to hit me.I thought: J should duck.But in the time between when something gets thought and when it gets done, the ball hit me square across theside of the face. I fell, the back of my head slamming against the gym floor. I then stood up immediately, as ifunhurt, and left the gym.Pride had gotten me off the floor of the gym, but as soon as I was outside, I sat down."I am concussed," I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis."You're fine," Takumi said as he jogged back toward me. "Let's get out of here before we're killed.""I'm sorry," I said. "But I can't get up. I have suffered a mild concussion."Lara ran out and sat down next to me."Are you okay?""I am concussed," I said.Takumi sat down with me and looked me in the eye. "Do you know what happened to you?""The Beast got me.""Do you know where you are?""I'm on a triple-and-a-half date.""You're fine," Takumi said. "Let's go."And then I leaned forward and threw up onto Lara's pants.”

“But in the time between when something gets thought and when it gets done, the ball hit me square across the side of the face. I fell, the back of my head slamming against the gym floor. I then stood up immediately, as if unhurt, and left the gym.Pride had gotten me off the floor of the gym, but as soon as I was outside, I sat down."I am concussed," I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis.”

“I am concussed," I announced, entirely sure of my self-diagnosis.”

“I am a grenade," I said again. "I just want to stay away from people and read books and think and be with you guys because there's nothing I can do about hurting you: You're too invested, so just please let me do that, okay?"I'm going to go to my room and read for awhile, okay? I'm fine. I really am fine: I just want to go read for a while.”

“Pudge/Colonel: "I am sorry that I have not talked to you before. I am not staying for graduation. I leave for Japan tomorrow morning. For a long time, I was mad at you. The way you cut me out of everything hurt me, and so I kept what I knew to myself. But then even after I wasn't mad anymore, I still didn't say anything, and I don't even really know why. Pudge had that kiss, I guess. And I had this secret. You've mostly figured this out, but the truth is that I saw her that night, I'd stayed up late with Lara and some people, and then I was falling asleep and I heard her crying outside my back window. It was like 3:15 that morning, maybe, amd I walked out there and saw her walking through the soccer field. I tried to talk to her, but she was in a hurry. She told me that her mother was dead eight years that day, and that she always put flowers on her mother's grave on the anniversary but she forgot that year. She was out there looking for flowers, but it was too early-too wintry. That's how I knew about January 10. I still have no idea whether it was suicide. She was so sad, and I didn't know what to say or do. I think she counted on me to be the one person who would always say and do the right things to help her, but I couldn"t. I just thought she was looking for flowers. I didn't know she was going to go. She was drunk just trashed drunk, and I really didn't think she would drive or anything. I thought she would just cry herself to sleep and then drive to visit her mom the next day or something. She walked away, and then I heard a car start. I don't know what I was thinking. So I let her go too. And I'm sorry. I know you loved her. It was hard not to." Takumi”

“When you go into the ER, one of the first things they ask you to do is rate your pain on a scale of one to ten, and from there they decide which drugs to use and how quickly to use them. I'd been asked this question hundreds of times over the years, and I remember once early on when I couldn't get my breath and it felt like my chest was on fire, flames licking the inside of my ribs fighting for a way to burn out of my body, my parents took me to the ER. nurse asked me about the pain, and I couldn't even speak, so I held up nine fingers.Later, after they'd given me something, the nurse came in and she was kind of stroking my head while she took my blood pressure and said, "You know how I know you're a fighter? You called a ten a nine."But that wasn't quite right. I called it a nine because I was saving my ten. And here it was, the great and terrible ten, slamming me again and again as I lay still and alone in my bed staring at the ceiling, the waves tossing me against the rocks then pulling me back out to sea so they could launch me again into the jagged face of the cliff, leaving me floating faceup on the water, undrowned.”

“How long have you been dating her?' I asked. Nine months. We never got along. I mean, I didn't even briefly like her. Like, my mom and my dad- my dad would get pissed, and then he would beat the shit out of my mom. And then my dad would be all nice and they'd have a honeymoon period. But with Sara, there's never a honeymoon period. God, how could she think I was a rat? I know, I know: Why don't we break up?' He ran a hand through his hair, clutching a fistful of it atop his head, and said, ' I guess I saty with her because she stays with me. And that's not an easy thing to do. I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other.”