“I jog through the halls and then go upstairs to Jane’s locker and carefully slip the note I wrote last night through the vent:To: The Locker HoudiniFrom: Will GraysonRe: An Expert in the Field of Good Boyfriends?Dear Jane,Just so you know: e. e. cummings cheated on both of his wives. With prostitutes.Yours,Will Grayson”

“Dear Jane,Just so you know: e. e. cummings cheated on both of his wives. With prostitutes.Yours,Will Grayson”

“I go in and slip a note in Jane's locker, which I've gotten in the habit of doing. It's always just a line or two that I found from some poem in the gigantic poetry anthology my sophomore English taught me from. I said I wouldn’t be the kind of boyfriend who reads her poetry, and I’m not, but I guess I am the kind of cheesy bastard who slips lines of poetry into her mornings.”

“Radar threw his books into his locker and shut it. Then the din of conversation around us quieted just a bit as he turned his eyes toward the heavens and shouted, "IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT MY PARENTS OWN THE WORLD'S LARGEST COLLECTION OF BLACK SANTAS.”

“Do you know what it's like to work so hard to make sure everyone's happy, and to have not a single person recognize it?" - Tiny Copper (Will Grayson, Will Grayson)”

“So I was ugly. I was never fat, really, and I never wore headgear or had zits or anything. But I was ugly. I don't even know how ugly and pretty get decided - maybe there's like a secret cabal of boys who meet in the locker room and decide who's ugly and who's hot, because as far as I can remember, there was no such thing as a hot fourth-grader. - Lindsey Lee Wells”

“And then I screwed up and the Colonel screwed up and Takumi screwed up and she slipped through our fingers.”