“I was insufferable long before we lost her. Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
In this quote by John Green from his novel "The Fault in Our Stars," the character remarks on the nature of grief and how it affects people. The speaker acknowledges that their personality flaws existed before their loss, but grief has brought them to light. This quote reflects the idea that grief does not create new aspects of a person's character, but rather amplifies or reveals existing qualities. It suggests that through the experience of loss, individuals may come to better understand themselves and confront their true nature.
In this quote by John Green, the idea that grief reveals rather than changes a person is highlighted. This concept remains relevant today as individuals navigate through loss and hardship, ultimately learning more about themselves in the process.
One powerful quote from John Green on how grief reveals our true self is, "I was insufferable long before we lost her. Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you." This quote highlights how grief can bring out aspects of a person that were already present, rather than fundamentally changing them.
Losing someone we love can bring out a different side of us that we may not have known existed. Reflecting on this process can help us understand ourselves better and how we cope with loss. Consider the following questions:
“Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”
“Hazel has to realize that her mom was wrong when she said, “I won’t be a mother anymore.” The truth is, after Hazel dies (assuming she dies), her mom will still be her mom, just as my grandmother is still my grandmother even though she has died. As long as either person is still alive, that relationship survives. (It changes, but it survives.)”
“I'll fight it. I'll fight it for you. Don't you worry about me, Hazel Grace. I'm okay. I'll find a way to hang around and annoy you for a long time.”
“Hazel Grace. No. I will grant you that you did spend my one and only Wish, but you did not spend it on him. You spent it on us.”
“Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.”
“I digress, but here's the rub: The dead are visible only in the terrible lidless eye of memory. The living, thank heaven, retain the ability to surprise and to disappoint. Your Hazel is alive, Waters, and you mustn't impose your will upon another's decision, particularly a decision arrived at thoughtfully. She wishes to spare you pain, and you should let her. You may not find young Hazel's logic persuasive, but I have trod through this vale of tears longer than you, and from where I'm sitting, she's not a lunatic.”