“I'm just reveling in the glory of not having to hear the neediness and impotence of my own voice.”

“Having a voice that made my skin feel more like skin.”

“Right, except I'm not going to lie to my mom, because what kind of bastard lies to his own mother?”

“I was so tired of her getting upset for no reason. The way she would get sulky and make references to the freaking oppressive nature of tragedy or whatever but then never said what was wrong, never have any goddamned reason to be sad. And I just think you ought to have a reason. My girlfriend dumped me, so I'm sad. I got caught smoking, so I'm pissed off. My head hurts, so I'm cranky. She never had a reason, Pudge. I was just so tired of putting up with her drama. And I just let her go. Christ.”

“Sometimes I dream that I'm writing a memoir. A memoir would just be the thing to keep me in the hearts and memories of my adoring public.”

“I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin.”

“I'm not embarrassed by my faith, and I'm also not embarrassed by my doubt.”