“I'm not embarrassed by my faith, and I'm also not embarrassed by my doubt.”

“I'm sitting her thinking, -God, I swear I will take a vow of silence and move to a monastery and worship you for all my days if you just this once provide me with an invisibility cloak, come on, come on, please please invisibility cloak now now now-. It's very possible that Jane is thinking the same thing, I have no idea, because she's not talking either, and I can't look at her on account of how I'm blinded by embarrassment.”

“It's embarrassing that we all just walk through life blindly accepting that scrambled eggs are fundamentally associated with mornings.”

“The problem exactly is that she dumped me. That I'm alone. Oh my God, I'm alone again. And not only that, but I'm a total failure in case you haven't noticed. I'm washed up. I'm former. Formerly the boyfriend of Katherine XIX. Formerly a prodigy. Formerly full of potential. Currently full of shit.”

“Oh my God I'm going to kill you!' But she was laughing.”

“I'm just reveling in the glory of not having to hear the neediness and impotence of my own voice.”

“I'm so pissed off about it, because - I mean, I wasted so much of my life with him and then he cheats on me and I'm not even particularly, like, depressed about it?”