“Incidentally, did you know that the whole eight glasses a day thing is complete bullshit and has no scientific basis? So many things are like that. Everyone just assumes they're true, because people are basically lazy and incurious, which incidentally is one of those words that sounds like it wouldn't be a word but is.”

“That's absolutely true, about the eight glasses a day. There's no reason whatsoever to drink eight glasses of water a day unless you, for whatever reason, particularly like the taste of water. Most experts agree that unless there's something horribly wrong with you, you should just drink water whenever you're - get this - thirsty.”

“I hated talking, and I hated listening to everyone else stumble on their words and try to phrase things in the vaguest possible way so they wouldn’t sound dumb.”

“Don't tell me you're one of those people who becomes their disease. I know so many people like that disheartening. Like, cancer is in the growth business, right?”

“There's no reason whatsoever to drink eight glasses of water a day unless you, for whatever reason, particularly like the taste of water”

“Her hair is ridiculous," I said."I know. That was the only thing I said about her that was true. When you say nasty things about people, you should never say the true ones, because you can't really fully and honestly take those back, you know? I mean, there are highlights. And there are streaks. And then there are skunk stripes.”

“When you say nasty things about people, you should never say the true ones, because you can't really fully and honestly take those back..”