“JP shouted, "TELL THEM WHAT YOU JUST DID TO EACH OTHER!""Um," I said."We kissed," the Duke said."That's kinda gay," Keun said."I AM A GIRL.""Yeah, I know, but so is Tobin," Keun said.”

“It's Keun. He wants to be put on speaker. He's being weird.""Fancy that," said the Duke. "Next you'll tell me that the sun is a mass of incandescent gas.”

“Sorry," I said to the Duke."Eh, it's not your fault. It's Carla's fault. You were turning the wheel. Carla just wasn't listening. I knew I shouldn't have loved her. She's like all the others, Tobin; as soon as I confess my love, she abandons me."I laughed. "I never abandoned you," I said patting on her back."Yeah, well, (a.) I never confessed my love to you, and (b.) I'm not even female to you.”

“Don't make fun of her," the Duke said. "She needs gentle encouragement. Carla, baby, we love you. You are such a good car. And we believe in you one hundred percent."..."Don't listen to him, Carla. You're gonna do this."..."I love you, Carla. You know that, don't you? I wake up every morning and the first thing I think is that I love Tobin's mom's car. I know that's weird, baby, but I do. I love you. And I know you can do this."..."Carla," the Duke said, "it's time to tell you the truth. I'm in love with you. I want to be with you, Carla. I've never felt this way about a c-”

“Do you have a Wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, The Genie Foundation, which is in the business of granting sick kids one wish.'No' I said. 'I used my Wish pre-Miracle.''What'd you do?'I sighed loudly. 'I was thirteen,' I said.'Not Disney,' he said.I said nothing.'You did not go to Disney World.'I said nothing.'HAZEL GRACE!' he shouted. 'You did not use your one dying Wish to go to Disney World with your parents.''Also Epcot Center,' I mumbled.'Oh, my God,' Augustus said. 'I can't believe I had a crush on a girl with such cliché wishes.”

“Yeah, so if that guy can make it in drunk, surely we can make it in sober. I mean, we’re ninjas.''Well, maybe you’re a ninja,' I said. 'You’re just a really loud, awkward ninja,' Margo said, 'but we are both ninjas.”

“We are literally in the heart of Jesus," he said. "I thought we were in a church basement, but we are literally in the heart of Jesus.""Someone should tell Jesus," I said. "I mean, it's gotta be dangerous, storing children with cancer in your heart.""I would tell Him myself," Augustus said, "but unfortunately I am literally stuck inside of His heart, so He won't be able to hear me.”