“Not the brightest gem in the jewelry shop, but you've got to admire his single-minded dedication to drug abuse.”

“He loves weed like Alaska loves sex," the Colonel said. "This is a man who once constructed a bong using only the barrel of an air rifle, a ripe pear, and an eight-by-ten glossy photograph of Anna Kournikova. Not the brightest gem in the jewelry shop, but you've got to admire his single-minded dedication to drug abuse.”

“I brought you a snack," Takumi said, dropping an oatmeal cream pie onto my book."Very nutritious," I smiled."You've got your oats. You've got your meal. You've got your cream. It's a fuckin' food pyramid.”

“You're not boring. You've got to stop saying that, or people will start believing you.”

“or because he got eighteen years when he should have gotten more.''Seventeen,' Gus corrected.'I'm assuming you've got some time, you interrupting bastard.”

“So you've been gone a couple days,' Alison said. 'Hmm, what'd you miss...A celebrity did drugs. Politicians disagreed. A different celebrity wore a bikini that revealed a bodily imperfection. A team won a sporting event, but another team lost.”

“I don't think you're dying," I said. "I think you've just got a touch of cancer.He smiled. Gallows humor.”