“On how to make boys like you:the third way is to be come something called "hot"Now Katie I would argue that there are at least twodistinct definitionsof hot. There is the like normalhuman definition which is that individual seemssuitable for mating. And then theirs the weird culturallyconstructed definition of hot which is that individual ismalnourished and has probably had plastic bags insertedinto her breasts. Now boys might find that hot now but I don't think there's anything inherently hot about it like if you went back to the 18th century and ask a fifteen year old boy would you like to marry a woman who has had plastic bags needlessly inserted into her breasts that fifteen year old boy would probably be like: "What's plastic?”

“I think if you went back to the eighteenth century and you asked a fifteen year old boy, 'Would you like to marry a woman who has had plastic bags needlessly inserted into her breasts?', that fifteen year old boy would probably be like, 'what's plastic?'.”

“Stick Boy liked Match Girl,he liked her a lot.He liked her cute figure,he thought she was hot.”

“I could envision it all to clearly: Stuart or Debbie finding the dented door off its hinges, lying in the snow. "She came in, ravaged the boy, stole plastic bags, and ripped off the door in her escape," the police would say in the APB. "Probably making her way to bust her parents out of jail.”

“Passion is something you really don't miss, after it has cooled. It is like looking at an empty bottle on the side of the road and thinking, "Boy, I wish I had a Coke." The loves you miss are the ones that go away when they are still warm, even hot, to the touch.”

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”