“Pudge, what you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person.”

“Pudge," She shook her head and sipped the cold coffee and wine-"Pudge, what you must understand about me is that I am a deeply unhappy person.”

“What you must understand about me is that I’m a deeply unhappy person.”

“Poor Pudge. Oh, poor poor Pudge. Do you want me to climb into bed with you and cuddle?""Well since you're offering--""NO! UP! NOW!”

“Hey Pudge," the Colonel said. "What do you think of a truce?""It reminds me of when the Germans demanded that the U.S. surrender at the Battle of the Bulge," I said. "I guess I'd say to this truce offer what General McAuliffe said to that one: Nuts.”

“And we'll call you...hmmm. Pudge.""Huh?""Pudge," the Colonel said. "Because you're skinny. It's called irony, Pudge. Heard of it? Now, let's go get some cigarettes and start this year off right.”

“I must talk, and you must listen, for we are engaged here in the most important pursuit in history: the search for meaning. What is the nature of being a person? What is the best way to go about being a person? How did we come to be, and what will become of us when we are no longer? In short: What are the rules of this game, and how might we best play it?”