“Qualities of a Good Nurse: Go," I said. "1.Doesn't put on your disabilities," Isaac said. "2.Gets blood on the first try." I said. "Seriosly, that is huge. I mean is this my freaking arm or a dartboard? 3.No condenscending voice.”

“Qualities of a Good Nurse: Go," I said."1. Doesn't pun on your disability," Isaac said."2. Gets blood on the first try," I said."Seriously, that is huge. I mean is this my freaking arm or a dartboard? 3. No condescending voice.""How are you doing, sweetie?" I asked, cloying. "I'm going to stick you with a needle now. There might be a little ouchie.""Is my wittle fuffywump sickywicky?" he answered. "Most of them are good, actually. I just want to get the hell out of this place.”

“He walked over to Isaac and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Dude, pillows don’t break. Try something that breaks.”Isaac reached for a basketball trophy from the shelf above the bed and then held it over his head as if waiting for permission.“Yes,” Augustus said. “Yes!” The trophy smashed against the floor, the plastic basketball player’s arm splintering off, still grasping its ball. Isaac stomped on the trophy.“Yes!” Augustus said. “Get it!” And then back to me, “I’ve been looking for a way to tell my father that I actually sort of hate basketball, and I think we’ve found it.”

“To be fair to Monica," I said, "what you did to her wasn't very nice either.""What'd I do to her?" he asked, defensive."You know, going blind and everything.""But that's not my fault," Isaac said."I'm not saying it was your fault. I'm saying it wasn't nice.”

“I know it's a bit self-aggrandizing.""Hey, you're stealing my eulogy," Isaac said. "My first bit is about how you were a self-aggrandizing bastard.”

“Isaac was still clinging to the lectern. He started to cry. He pressed his forehead down to the podium and I watched his shoulders shake, and then finally, he said, 'Goddamn it, Augustus, editing your own eulogy.''Don't swear in the Literal Heart of Jesus,' Gus said.'Goddamn it," Isaac said again.”

“It's just that most really good-looking people are stupid, so I exceed expectations.''Right, it's primarily his hotness,' I said.'It can be sort of blinding,' he said.'It actually did blind our friend Isaac,' I said.'Terrible tragedy, that. But can I help my own deadly beauty?''You cannot.''It is my burden, this beautiful face.''Not to mention your body.''Seriously, don't even get me started on my hot bod. You don't want to see me naked, Dave. Seeing me naked actually took Hazel Grace's breath away,' he said, nodding toward the oxygen tank.”