“So you've been gone a couple days,' Alison said. 'Hmm, what'd you miss...A celebrity did drugs. Politicians disagreed. A different celebrity wore a bikini that revealed a bodily imperfection. A team won a sporting event, but another team lost.”

“We were very different, and we disagreed about a lot of things, but he was always so interesting, you know?”

“Chuck Parson did not participate in organized sports, because to do so would distract from his larger goal of his life: to one day be convicted of murder”

“It was nice to spend time with someone so interesting. We were very different, and we disagreed about a lot of things, but he was always so interesting, you know?”

“To be fair to Monica," I said, "what you did to her wasn't very nice either.""What'd I do to her?" he asked, defensive."You know, going blind and everything.""But that's not my fault," Isaac said."I'm not saying it was your fault. I'm saying it wasn't nice.”

“I'm a good person but a shitty writer. You're a shitty person but a good writer. We'd make a good team.”

“The food was so good that with each passing course, our conversation devolved further into fragmented celebrations of its deliciousness:'I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person so I can take it to Las Vegas and marry it.”