“So you've been gone a couple days,' Alison said. 'Hmm, what'd you miss...A celebrity did drugs. Politicians disagreed. A different celebrity wore a bikini that revealed a bodily imperfection. A team won a sporting event, but another team lost.”
“We spilled onto the court to celebrate, but most of the guys were confused about how excited they were supposed to be. I mean, sure we won the tournament, but at the end of the day it was the NIT and being the best team in the NIT is like being the most attractive Michigan cheerleader.”
“If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.”
“Writing is a team sport.”
“Apple is a team sport.”
“So...uh, you're a Team Edward kind of guy?'He snorted. 'No. I'm Team James or Team Tyler's Van, but apparently neither of them won by the look of it. She's still alive.”