“Take a picture of this so Isaac can see it when they invent robot eyes.”

“But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him ...And then, having made my rhetorical point, I will put my robot eyes on, because I mean, with robot eyes you can probably see through girls’ shirts and stuff. Augustus, my friend, Godspeed.”

“If I become blind and the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.”

“Augustus: "I can still dominate your blind ass at Counterinsurgence,"Isaac: "I'm pretty sure all asses are blind,”

“Isaac out of surgery. It went well. He's officially NEC.NEC meant "no evidence of cancer." A second text came a few seconds later. I mean, he's blind. So that's unfortunate.”

“Augustus Waters was a self-aggrandizing bastard. But we forgive him. We forgive him not because he had a heart as figuratively good as his literal one sucked, or because he knew more about how to hold a cigarette than any nonsmoker in history, or because he got eighteen years when he should've gotten more.''Seventeen,' Gus corrected.'I'm assuming you've got some time, you interupting bastard.'I'm telling you,' Isaac continued, 'Augustus Waters talked so much that he'd interupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness.'But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.'I was kind of crying by then.”

“Me: "Touch the cave wall."Computer: "You touch the cave wall. It is moist."Isaac: "Lick the cave wall."Computer: "I do not understand. Repeat?"Me: "Hump the moist cave wall."Computer: "You attempt to jump. You hit your head."Isaac: "Not jump. HUMP."Computer: "I don't understand."Isaac: "Dude, I've been alone in the dark in this cave for weeks and I need some relief. HUMP THE CAVE WALL."Computer: "You attempt to ju-"Me: "Thrust pelvis against the cave wall."Computer: "I do not-"Isaac: "Make sweet love to the cave."Computer: "I do not-”