“The venn diagram of boys who don’t like smart girls and boys you don’t wanna date is a circle.”

“Boys are much more likely to objectify girls bodies, while boys are seen by girls as whole people.”

“I don't know why boys expect us to like boy movies. We don't expect them to like girl movies.”

“Girls think they’re only allowed to wear dresses on formal occasions, but I like a woman who says, you know, I’m going over to see a boy who is having a nervous breakdown, a boy whose connection to the sense of sight itself is tenuous, and gosh dang it, I am going to wear a dress for him.”

“Look, you’re right. Maybe I don’t like you the way someone should like you. I don’t like you in the call-you-and-read-you-a-poem-every-night-before-you-go-to-bed way. I’m crazy, okay? Sometimes I think, like, God, she’s superhot and smart and kind of pretentious but the pretentiousness just makes me kind of want her, and then other times I think it’s an amazingly bad idea, that dating you would be like a series of unnecessary root canals interspersed with occasional makeout sessions.”

“So it’s your death suit.” “Correct. Don’t you have a death outfit?”“Yeah,” I said. “It’s a dress I bought for my fifteenth birthday party. But I don’t wear it on dates.”His eyes lit up. “We’re on a date?” he asked.I looked down, feeling bashful. “Don’t push it.”

“I think if you went back to the eighteenth century and you asked a fifteen year old boy, 'Would you like to marry a woman who has had plastic bags needlessly inserted into her breasts?', that fifteen year old boy would probably be like, 'what's plastic?'.”