“This is the Homosexuality Is An Abomination Club, right?”

“If you don’t know about Tumblr then you are not supposed to know about Tumblr. It’s like fight club.”

“Me: "If you want me to be a teenager, don't send me to Support Group. Buy me a fake ID so I can go to clubs, drink vodka, and take pot."Mom: "You don't take pot, for starters."Me: "See, that's the kind of thing I'd know if you got me a fake ID.”

“Well," Peter Van Houten said, extending his hand to me. "It is at any rate a pleasure to meet such ontologically improbable creatures." I shook his swollen hand, and then he shook hands with Augustus. I was wondering what ontologically meant. Regardless, I liked it. Augustus and I were together in the Improbable Creatures Club: us and duck-billed platypuses.”

“Love is graphable!" Colin said defensively. "Right. Because relationships are so predictable, right?”

“Right. I'd forgotten about her.' He shook his head. 'That keeps happening.”

“Tonight, darling, we are going to right a lot of wrongs. And we are going to wrong some rights. The first shall be last; the last shall be first; the meek shall do some earth-inheriting. But before we can radically reshape the world, we need to shop.”