“You know how sometimes you see a really sexy baby? Wait that sounds fucked up.”

“It’s like, you know how sometimes you see a really sexy baby? Wait...”

“I think she and I were talking about how much I adored skateboarding on the computer but how it would never even occur to me to try and step on a skateboard in real life, and then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her." "Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried. "I didn't fuck her.”

“and then she said, 'Let's play Truth or Dare' and then you fucked her.""Wait, you fucked her? In front of the Colonel?" Takumi cried."I didn't fuck her.""Calm down, guys," the Colonel said, throwing up his hands. "It's a euphemism.""For what?" Takumi asked."Kissing.”

“You know, like when you look in the mirror and the thing you see is not the thing as it really is.”

“I try not to be scared, you know. But I still ruin everything. I still fuck up.”

“Harry Potter isn’t real? Oh no! Wait, wait, what do you mean by real? Is this video blog real? Am I real if you can see me and hear me, but only through the internet? Are you real if I can read your comment but I don’t know who you are or what your name is or where you’re from or what you look like or how old you are? I know all of those things about Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potter’s real and you’re not.”