“You may choose your song, but know this: Tiny. Cooper. Hates. Over. The. Rainbow.”

“You can say a lot of bad things about Tiny Cooper. I know, because I have said them. But for a guy who knows absolutely nothing about how to conduct his own relationships, Tiny Cooper is kind of brilliant when it comes to dealing with other people's heartbreak. Tiny is like some gigantic sponge soaking up the pain of lost love everywhere he goes.”

“He may be a malevolent sorcerer, but Tiny Cooper is his own goddamned man, and if he wants to be a gigantic skipper, then that's his right as a huge American.”

“There were tiny rainbows in that glass. I turned it so a rainbow danced across my hand.”

“Where are the stars on this dark, dark, night?Where is there tiny twinkling light?Where is the music?Where is the song?Where are the colors?Something is wrong.Sometimes stars hide in the clouds,and their light seems far away.Sometimes voices are hushed and still,and the rainbow fades to gray.Sometimes the world is topsy-turvy,and nobody really knows why;Sometimes sad things happen,and even grown-ups cry.But always, my child, always,you are safe here in my arms.The world may be topsy-turvy,but I will shelter you from harm.Always the stars are twinkling,even when clouds hide their light.I promise you voices will sing again,and colors will again shine bright.I promise there is always tomorrowfor starlight and rainbows and song;My love will always surround youunchanged, unbroken, and strong.”

“It’s true—there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows.”