“You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!”

“Oh my God I'm going to kill you!' But she was laughing.”

“You know your problem, Quentin? You keep expecting people not to be themselves. I mean, I could hate you for being massively unpunctual and for never being interested in anything other than Margo Roth Spiegelman, and for, like, never asking me about how it's going with my girlfriend - but I don't give a shit, man, because you're you. My parents have a shit ton of black Santas, but that's okay. They're them. I'm too obsessed with a reference website to answer my phone sometimes when my friends call, or my girlfriend. That's okay, too. That's me. You like me anyway. And I like you. You're funny, and you're smart, and you may show up late, but you always show up eventually.”

“I wouldn't have cared if my girlfriend was a Jaguar-driving Cyclops with a beard - I'd have been grateful just to have someone to make out with.”

“COCK-A-DOODLE DOO! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT FROMO THE OTHER END, YOU LITTLE FUGGER?" "Kafir, I can say it with confidence: Today is a day that no pigs will die. I'm not even allowed to eat the motherfuggers; I'm sure not going to kill one." "Amen," Colin answered.”

“Whatever. Great day. Today. Best day of my life.”

“Augustus," I said. "Really. You don't have to do this.""Sure I do," he said. "I found my Wish.""God, you're the best," I told him."I bet you say that to all the boys who finance your international travel," he answered.”