“Your driving is unpleasant, but it isn't technically unsafe.”

“For the longest time, it felt kind of like my chest was cracking open, but not precisely in an unpleasant way.”

“The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny… Alright, it's a little funny.”

“It pains me to say this, Colin, but if you wish to continue to grow intellectually, you need to work harder right now than you ever have before. Otherwise you, you risk wasting your potential." "Technically," Colin answered, "I think I might have already wasted it.”

“We did not say: Don't drive. You're drunk.”

“Easy comfort isn't comforting”

“Mom: 'I really have to stop doing this. I need to get a life.'I think she's directing this at herself, or the universe, not really at me. Still, I can't help thinking that 'getting a life' is something only a complete idiot could believe. Like you can just drive to a store and get a life. See it in its shiny box and look inside the plastic window and catch a glimpse of yourself in a new life and say, 'Wow, I look much happier - I think this is the life I need to get!" Take it to the counter, ring it up, put it on your credit card. If getting a life was that easy, we'd be one blissed-out race. But we're not. So it's like, Mom, your life isn't out there waiting, so don't think all you have to do is find it and get it. No, your life is right here. And yeah, it sucks. Lives usually do. So if you want things to change, you don't need to get a life. You need to get off your ass.”