“Life lesson 1, never tell a woman she's fat.”

“Life lesson 2, Never tell a woman that those pants make her butt look big.”

“Life lesson 3, If someone of the same gender says something like, "Silly Willy", or "ohhohyou stop that big boy/little lady", all you need to do is BOOK IT MAN, RUN AS FAST AS YO FACE'LL TAKE YA! ”

“Don't look to anyone else to validate your greatness; they never able to capture everything that make you shine.”

“Life is a cruel teacher. She loves to give you the test first and the lesson later.”

“Rule #1: Life is supposed to be fun!”

“…she looked like Vivien, the Lady of the Lake, only she was fat and her lake was dust, sand and dust, bones and dust and sand.”