“Firstly, although daily actions remained constant, the people around me changed. New backpackers would arrive and leave Hat Rin every week, and either said they were staying long-term and did, or said they were only staying for a few days but ended up not being able to leave. The latter was usually the case.The second, more obvious difference between now and then was the nature of my daily routine. For the first time in my life my reason for waking up in the morning was just that: to wake up. If i didn't want to, nobody was saying I had to. If I wanted to go to the beach I'd wake up and go to the beach. If I wanted to mess around with Rick and Dave all day long in the jungle, that's what I'd do. That's not to say I didn't get bored, but when boredom did set in, I just did something else. When you work, you don't have that option.”

“I was disappointed in Coop. He hated being bored and so did I. He was always looking for different things to do and coming up with new adventures that kept us moving. That was his job. Trolling for girls at the beach was okay by me, but I didn't want it to be our sole focus. Besides, the girls I liked had more interesting things to do than spend every waking moment sitting around at the beach comparing tans.”

“I want you to kiss me like you did at my house, to make love to me like you did at yours. I want to wake up with you every morning and go to bed with you every night. I want our kids and our life together. I want it all, but mostly, I just want you.”

“I don't mean I'd mind being rich and famous. That's very much on my schedule, and someday I'll try to get around to it; but if it happens, I'd like to have my ego tagging along. I want to still be me when I wake up one fine morning and have breakfast at Tiffany's.”

“I didn't want to go to sleep knowing I would just wake up in the morning.”

“Even when I took the drugs I realized that this just wasn't fun anymore. The drugs had become a part of my routine. Something to wake me up. Something to help me sleep. Something to calm my nerves. There was a time when I was able to wake up, go to sleep, and have fun without a pill or a line to help me function. These days it felt like I might have a nervous breakdown if I didn't have them.”