“English, however, is kinky. It has a predilection for dressing up like Welsh on lonely nights.”

“We asked our Welsh teacher, Mr Llewellyn – who is young, to tell us the Welsh sex words. The Welsh word for sex is ‘rhyw’. It sounds like coughing. He said that, in general, Welsh-speakers use English words. When pressed, he gave us a couple of examples to show us why this might be. ‘Llawes goch’ means ‘red sleeve’. ‘Coes fach’ means ‘small leg’. The phrase would be: ‘Put your small leg in my red sleeve’.”

“It feels like a perfect night, to dress up like hipsters, and make fun of our exes.”

“Never get mixed up in a Welsh wrangle. It doesn't end in blows like an Irish one, but goes on forever.”

“They had tried to reproduce their own attitude to life upon the stage, and to dress up as the middle-class English people they actually were.”

“The sky slowly pulled up its blue dress to reveal night.”