“Don’t fire unless fired upon, but if they mean to have a war, let it begin here.”

“My rules are as follows: don’t follow, unless there’s a fire. And in that case, follow from the front.”

“Let husband and wife never speak to one another in loud tones,unless the house is on fire.”

“Let your light shine, likeLet your light shine,I've got a bad case of turning it upIt's getting cold in here so fire it upI've got a bad case of turning it upIt's getting cold in here so somebody fire it upCome on and fire it”

“Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because there’s an alarm going doesn’t mean it’s a fire. And I think that people are confusing the two. It’s only a fire when it offends the fans, and the fans turn on you. Tosh has fans, and they get the joke. If you’ve watched enough Tracy Morgan, you let the worst thing go by. When did Tracy Morgan become Walter Cronkite? You have to mean something to me to offend me. You can’t break up with me if we don’t date.”

“Let your will burn in this fire so that it takes you nowhere else. Let your self be burned in this fire of eternity, love and peace. Don't be afraid of this fire, it is love itself. This desire for freedom is the fire of love!”