“The way to get better pornography is to give pornographers better sex.”

“To mess around with Ebola is an easy way to die. Better to work with something safer, such as anthrax.”

“The best way to know what's in the soup, is to boil yourself in it.”

“JEANBoy, would I like to see you give some old harpie the three in one! COLONELDon't be vulgar, Jane. Let us be crooked, but never common. ”

“You know, Maude . . . somebody meeting you for the first time -- not knowing you were cracked -- might get the wrong impression of you.”

“THE POLITICIANIf it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish!CATHERINEEspecially since you can't rob the people anyway.THE POLITICIANSure...How was that?CATHERINEWhat you rob, you spend. And what you spend goes back to the people. So where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books.THE POLITICIANThat book should be in every home!”

“Boxer altered his course subtly, as if that was the way he'd already been going, not looking up to acknowledge he had heard, letting his attitude convey the contempt he felt for the scrawny foreman. He stopped in front of the guy, staring at the man's dusty little workboots. Small feet, small dick. Slowly, he glanced up. "Welcome to the world, Pee-Wee. Take a look at this.”