“I once defenestrated a guy. The cops got all pissed off at me. I was drunk, but they said that was no excuse.""Ah well," Virgil said. Then, "The guy hurt bad?""Cracked his hip. Landed on a Prius. Really fucked up the Prius, too.""I can tell you, just now is the only time in my life I ever heard 'defenestration' used in a sentence," Virgil said."It's a word you learn after you done it," Morton said. "Yup. The New Prague AmericInn, 2009."Virgil was amazed. "Really? The defenstration of New Prague?”

“Hey, knock it off," says Virgil"What?" I whispered"You kicked me.""Sorry”

“Tell me why, Been. Why would you trick us in the first place?" Ben stopped pacing. Looked directly at me. "Don't you know?'I shook my head,confused."To impress you, Victoria Brennan." His voice cracked. "I wanted you to think that I was special."The words rocked me.Oh, Ben."He'd started this madness... for me?'You were spending all that time with Jason," Ben said softly, staring at his shoes. "skipping around town with your new perfect guy. Cotillion this. fund-raiser that. I hated it. Hated him. When I finally told Rome, he said that I needed to amaze you. Said I needed to figure out a way to make you see me.”

“Fuck," he said, sliding his hands down to my thighs. "You're making this very hard to be the good guy you said I was last night.""I'm not drunk."He pressed his forehead to mine, chuckling softly. "Yeah, I can see that and while the idea of taking you right now, against the wall, is enough to make me lose control, I want you to know that I'm serious. You're not a hook up. You're not a friend with benefits. You're more than that to me."I closed my eyes, breathing heavily. "Well, that was...really sort of perfect.”

“My son, Sam, at three and a half, had these keys to a set of plastic handcuffs, and one morning he intentionally locked himself out of the house. I was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper when I heard him stick his plastic keys into the doorknob and try to open the door. Then I heard him say, "Oh, shit." My whole face widened, like the guy in Edvard Munch's Scream. After a moment I got up and opened the front door."Honey," I said, "what'd you just say?""I said, 'Oh, shit,'" he said."But, honey, that's a naughty word. Both of us have absolutely got to stop using it. Okay?"He hung his head for a moment, nodded, and said, "Okay, Mom." Then he leaned forward and said confidentially, "But I'll tell you why I said 'shit.'" I said Okay, and he said, "Because of the fucking keys!”

“In Wenceslaus Square, in Prague, a guy is throwing up. Another guy comes up to him, pulls a long face, shakes his head, and says: "I know just what you mean.”