“I seen too many you guys. If you had two bits in the worl', why you'd be in gettin' two shots of corn with it and suckin' the bottom of the glass.”

“It is the attendance at a great meal, with one too many courses and two too many glasses of wine, that makes civilization spin, romance bloom and friendship last. ”

“Why am I covered in feathers?""I bit a pillow, or two.”

“Having a guy friend is pretty awesome if you're a girl and you pick the right guy.""And why is that?" she asked"You always have someone to open mayonnaise jars and you don't have to shave your legs for him""I never thought of that. That makes me the luckiest girls in the worl, doesn't it?”

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”

“And most of the wreckage revolves around two guys. Two guys that, for totally different reasons, are tearing me up inside. Two guys I want. Two guys I can’t have. Two guys I can’t stop thinking about.”