“This guy was making me tired. “Thanks for the afternoon’s entertainment,” I said. “I’ll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.”

“Fine, but if you get yourself killed I reserve the right to flush your ashes down the toilet while I sing the theme from Titanic.”

“Replaying her words in my head, I could feel my face redden again. I wanted to flush my head down the toilet.”

“A verbal ménage à trois,” Della said.“Gross,” Miranda said.“You wanna hear gross?” Della asked. “I just peed on my hand tryingto piss on this damned drug stick while talking on the phone to you.”Kylie laughed. “I miss you guys.” The sound of a toilet flushing filledthe line.“Oh, double gross,” Miranda snapped. “I told you not to flush while Iwas on the phone.”

“My kingdom for a flush toilet.”

“Shh!” the guy beside me hissed again.“Blame him,” I told the guy, pointing at Patch. The guy craned his neck back. “Listen,” he said, facing me again. “If you don’t quiet down, I’ll get security.”“Fine, go get security. Tell them to take him away,” I said, again signaling Patch. “Tell them he wants to kill me.”“I want to kill you,” hissed the guy’s girlfriend,”