“[on buying a private island] Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it.”

“That pipe, just so happens to lead to the room where I make the most delicious flavored chocolate covered fudge."Then he will be made into strawberry flavoered chocolate covered fudge, they'll be selling him by the pound, all over the world!"No, I wouldn't allow it. The taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Augustus flavored chocolate covered gloop? Ew. No one would buy it.”

“Money can't buy happiness but it can buy a huge yacht that sails right next to it.”

“Growing old is unavoidable, but never growing up is possible. I believe you can retain certain things from your childhood if you protect them - certain traits, certain places where you don’t let the world go.”

“America is dumb. It's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive. My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out.”

“One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock...”

“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.”