“One of the greatest pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was from my mom. When I was a little kid there was a kid who was bugging me at school and she said “Okay, I’m gonna tell you what to do. If the kid’s bugging you and puts his hands on you; you pick up the nearest rock...”

“This next part might cheer you up. So my mom told me she was gonna drive me to my appointment at the sperm bank, and she handed me one of my dad's Playboys--I had something way dirtier stashed in my closet, by the way--and she asked me, all serious, if I knew what do do.""You've got to be kidding.""No, I'm not." He started laughing. "I was fifteen, Anna. I was and expert at it, and I did not want to talk about jacking off with my mom.”

“Jules, I’ll tell you now what I would have told you at dinner if you’d been speakin’ to me. This,” he said, one hand dropping to my bottom and pulling my hips into his, one going up my back to press my torso to his chest, “is the sweetest thing I’ve had in my life and I haven’t even f**ked you yet. I never expected to get a chance at anything so sweet and now that I got it, I’m not gonna let it go.”

“I help up my left hand. The sapphire and diamonds sparkled.“Oh my God,” my mom said and fell out of her chair.“Mom? Mom!” I said getting worried. “I’m okay,” she said and her hand appeared on the screen as she climbed back into the kitchen chair. “You just gave me quite a shock. I wasn’t expecting that. Engaged?” she panted.Sloane and Tammi”

“One day, while at the drugstore picking up some aspirin for my Mom, dear old Mrs. Burns, our pharmacist, shoved a pack of condoms into my hand with a conspiratorial wink."They glow in the dark," she whispered.This, from a sixty-five year-old granny, I kid you not. Stuff of nightmares.”

“Are you a virgin?” I asked, “A virgin who’s gonna tear out my heart?”“Yes … no … wait.” She looked at me. “I’m not going to rip out your heart.”“Thanks for clearing that up,” I said“Is that okay with you?” she asked softly.“Okay with me?”,“No, it’s not okay at all,” I replied.“Why not?” She looked down at her toes.“I want you to rip out my heart.”She smiled, pressed her hand to my chest, and said, “I could never do that.”You already have, I thought as I took her hand in mine”