“Donald Rumsfeld. Love him or hate him, you've gotta admit: a lot of people hate him.”

“If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?”

“Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.”

“Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.”

“The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.”

“I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.”

“You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.”