“Not reassuring when weathermen say 'Today will be terrible but don't worry it won't be as terrible as tomorrow or Friday.”

“[American] liberalism today sees no realm of human life that is beyond political significance, from what you eat to what you smoke to what you say.”

“What is more likely? That tomorrow will be called 'Thursday' or that Maxine Waters will play the race card in her ethics investigation?”

“Gov. Christie says 'New Jersey First.' State-based Isolationism!”

“Tom Friedman says China is so awesome they make kosher pigs.”

“I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!”

“If there is ever a fascist takeover in America, it will come not in the form of storm troopers kicking down doors but with lawyers and social workers saying. "I'm from the government and I'm here to help.”