“If you appreciate the small things, you're likely to get the big ones.”

“My view on feng shui: don’t put your bed in front of your door because you won’t get in.”

“Some people like milk, but I would never drink anything you have to stroke out of an animal.”

“I want to employ tough people, people who know what they want and how to get it. Virgins must have a pretty poor track record of that.”

“The hotel is not happy with me breaking a 2000-dollar TV. For a second I feel like a rock star, but that’s just a second because then I feel like a psycho again.”

“There is one word I can’t stand and it’s ASAP and that’s not even a word.”

“Be the kind of person who catches the shit before it hits the fan, not the one who scrapes it off afterwards.”